are you so shy because you have an std?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
