Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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