Where is the hickey?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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