dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
