a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
