Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
