I could make wine with my vomit
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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