I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
