she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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