he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
