I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it's like iHOP with fire
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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