just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
