I looked at my own cervix.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
