I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
