im about as happy as oj after his trial
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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