It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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