Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
love makes seman taste better
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
