after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
