No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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