you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
