when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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