Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
