you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Your cock deserves a montage
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
