Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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