question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
