Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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