ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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