hotel room ftw
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
