I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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