Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
