Apparently you make a good broom.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
