i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
