What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
