I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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