I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
