Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
