i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
