their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
