he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
