Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
