I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
