TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
