He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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