At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
