Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
