he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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