ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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