he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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