I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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