My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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